Therapy
for the recovering believer.
Helping queer adults heal from religious guilt, trauma, and self-criticism.
Hi, I’m Dr. Sam Wessels.
I offer trauma-informed, queer-affirming therapy in San Francisco and online.
Many of my clients are LGBTQ+ and grew up in Mormon, Catholic, evangelical, or culturally conservative homes and are now unpacking the shame, guilt, anxiety, overwhelm, people pleasing, and self-criticism that came with it.
Together, we’ll chart the light and shadows of your heart and create a life you can finally feel confident about.
You left your hometown—and its beliefs—but you can’t stop feeling like you’re not enough or too much.
Burnout and Perfectionism
You used to get it all done, and to the highest standards. Now you’re just tired of being tired. If you grew up in a religious, conservative, or high-pressure environment, you probably learned to be “good” instead of real. At some point you lost the confidence that everyone else seemed to have in you. Now you struggle to get the minimum done, and rarely feel satisfied.
Relationship Stress
Whether it’s with a romantic partner (or lack thereof), parents, kids, colleagues, or supervisors, your relationships feel fraught and intense in ways you never wanted them to be, or like you’re always on the outside hoping for more. Whether you’re with someone, or alone, deep loneliness feels like a constant.
Shame and Overwhelm
The main way you’ve known to motivate yourself—by being hard on yourself, criticizing, punishing—doesn’t seem to work anymore; if anything, it’s just getting worse. You got out of the religion, or the political bubble, but why do you still feel so much shame?
As the worries and self-punishment increase, your life seems smaller and smaller, or feels like it’s getting more and more pressurized and could shatter at any moment.
What you can have.
Confidence and Ease
You don’t need to shame yourself into showing up. In therapy, you’ll learn how to motivate yourself using practical compassion, not fear. With therapy, you can move forward with clarity and confidence — without the voice in your head tearing you down.
Connected and Fulfilling Relationships
Whether you’re working on current relationships or building new ones, therapy can help you untangle old roles — like people-pleasing, caretaking, or fearing conflict. Many LGBTQ+ adults raised in conservative or religious homes struggle to feel safe in connection. Together, we’ll explore what matters most to you and how to create honest, supportive, and fulfilling relationships.
Being your Own Ally
For as long as you can remember, you’ve been you’re toughest critic, always trying to be at least “good enough” and hopefully exceptional for others. If you grew up with religious guilt, internalized shame, or high expectations, self-trust can feel impossible.
What if your body could feel like home, and your self your greatest ally? In therapy, you can learn how to soften self-judgment, recover from burnout, and reconnect with your worth.
I offer queer-affirming therapy in San Francisco and online, helping adults heal from religious trauma, guilt, and self-criticism.
Together, we’ll work on the puzzle of your heart, and emerge with a path forward so you can start living the authentic, whole-hearted life you’ve longed for.
Learn more about me.
Learn more about my approach to therapy.